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post 34 on Monday 28th May 2007 at 08:49

Bleach Baby

Chromatic AbstractionI’m making some magic. Specifically a moisturising face-oil comprising a sweet almond base, and a synergistic blend of two of my favourite essential oils: Geranium and petitgrain. Now here’s something interesting. The chemical components of petitgrain oil are geraniol, linalool, nerol, y-terpineol, geranyl acetate, linalyl acetate, myrcene, neryl acetate and trans-ocimene. If you saw those in a toilet cleaner, would you be surprised? These extracts are used extensively throughout the chemical and perfumery industries. Meanwhile we’re trained up with a need to buy crap, harmful products from big companies; just because it somehow fuses what we want with how we achieve it, without our having to think. It’s like someone handing you a decision on a piece of paper. It’s the same with food. How many times have you come away from the supermarket with a jar of tomato pasta sauce, when you have some olive oil, fresh tomatoes, garlic, and basil in your stores? We could have made a fresh pasta sauce our self, but we wanted the machine to channel us; we’re used to the machine channelling us!

The benefits to not using company bought chemicals? Fresh essential oils help to balance the mind and emotions, while stimulating the adrenal cortex/lymphatic system and balancing the hormonal system. For skin, the production of sebum is balanced, and the speed of wound healing is increased. Used correctly, essential oils are generally non-toxic, non-irritant and non-sensitizing - despite their potency!

Are the companies gonna tell you that in their adverts? Are they going to tell you what they add and take away from the raw ingredients the world was bestowed with?

But you must take what I say with a pinch of salt. I too, of course, have a few bottles of the bad stuff in my house. The training was good no? Even those who know the difference often have lapses of magpie-ism and laziness. And I figure I do my bit in the great scheme of things. But I won’t rest on my laurels. I will keep trying to find better alternatives to buying from chemical companies; alternatives that fit with my status as a cheap skate and part-time chemical chef. And like I've said before; convenience food is as much about not making a decision as it is about not cooking.

So I’ll keep cleaning my face with the free bleach I was given by my brother’s boss, then. ;)

tags: [ domestics ] [ products ]
post 42 on Tuesday 14th August 2007 at 19:09

Rapex – Are You Old Enough To Bleed?

A new anti-rape device dubbed "vengeful" and "disgusting" will be released onto shelves in South Africa in the coming month.

The device looks a lot like the female condom Femidom – differing only in its inclusion of sharp teeth, worn internally with the intention to lacerate and maim anything that may enter its razor-lined jaws.

Whilst I agree with Rapex (I feel bad even typing that word) in principle – the reality of such a device reeks of brutal DIY barbarism. It reminds me of Tony Martin of Bleak House fame shooting down that sixteen year old Fred Barras lad on the pretext "if you're where you shouldn't be, expect what you don't want". Deciphering just how a rapist is supposed to tell whether or not his victim may or may not be wearing the "Rapex" device is unfathomable.

But you'd expect the lady to walk carefully whilst harbouring a small barber’s kit in her lettuce leaves.

But, he shouldn’t be there in the first place, should he? What happens if it’s a young lad of sixteen, goes by the name of "Frid", say, who knows know better?

Ah I give up. Ladies and gents, I present to you: Rapex – now men can be old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher, too.

tags: [ feminist rants ] [ products ] [ rants ]
post 52 on Wednesday 6th February 2008 at 15:32

I Can Has Cheeseburger? If Has Tin Opener?

Just like that!The wonders of modern food production: tinned (that's right) tinned burgers from our friends in Germany. Just pop the unopened tin into a pan of boiling water, crack it open, add a salad garnish, and wonder at the instant soul food you just prepared in under ten minutes.

tags: [ cheeseburger ] [ not vegetarian ] [ products ]
post 59 on Wednesday 21st January 2009 at 16:50

Tesco Sells Ting's

Do you like Ting's?Anyone who watched The Peter Serafinowicz Show over Christmas will be pleased to learn that Tesco likes Ting's enough to actually sell them in store.

Me like Ting's!

It's me favourite!

Only two shillings!

tags: [ jokes ] [ products ] [ tesco ] [ tv ]
post 60 on Saturday 7th February 2009 at 12:43

Dr. Pop

Anyone for some Dr. Pop?
Dr. Pop: "Got a taste for it". Why is this funny? Who knows. Maybe it's the stark contrast between the term doctor - one who tries to maintain the health of the population (but who generally just ends up administering drugs) - and pop, something that in excess probably contributes to the disease of the nation. Or maybe it's just the the kitsch foreign supermarket brand title? Well it was spotted in Morrisons!

tags: [ domestics ] [ morrisons ] [ products ]